One of the things they don't tell you about international travel: You should not drink most of a bottle of white wine after an 8-hour flight because you are very dehydrated and haven't eaten all day. But they don't tell you, so you drink the wine and go to bed then wake up a few hours later in so much pain that you have to squeeze your body out onto the hostel's bathroom balcony for some cold air. You get sick all night. You listen to meditation videos on YouTube to get some sleep. You don't wake up until 11 the next morning to drink your weight in water, orange juice, and coffee. You decide that's okay and get out of the lobby before you waste the rest of your first full day in Paris.
The journey to the airport isn't as dramatic as I expect it to be, which is disconcerting. My big ass backpack and I catch all of the trains and buses right on time. Even after waiting for an hour in the bunched mass that is the Primera Air check-in line, getting through an extra handsy security checkpoint, and eating an overpriced chicken sandwich, everything was fine. In less than 12 hours, I'll be back in Paris. I can do whatever I want to do. Anything. Nothing. I'm my own master.
We will begin by saying that I don't want to go to Paris. It's for a lot of reasons, both practical and anxiety-related. Why am I afraid? Ultimately, I don't want to go alone. I don't want to be without distraction from my thoughts. I don't want to be my only source of satisfaction. But, in order for me to grow both as a person and as an independent woman in this day and age, I can't be afraid to leave my comfort zone. The last time I was in Paris, I really bossed up, and I fully intend on doing it again. Buckle up, kids.
When I was growing up, I had no idea that people traveled in August. Where I'm from, vacations happen in June and people spend their time on a beach without sunscreen. It wasn't until last year when I went to Paris did I become aware that entire cities basically shut down so people can escape the heat for a few weeks and unwind. What a concept. This past long and lonely August, the Bond House may as well have been France.
Aphids are laying eggs / underneath my fingernails // I'm looking for ladybugs / to eat them all up, fatted
when i saw the trumpeter blow / the horn, my jericho heart came down, / moved from flesh to fluid.
With summer winding down to a close, it’s easy to get behind on important things: chores, paperwork, meeting up with friends/randos-I-met-at-bars-the-weekend-before, going to bed at a reasonable hour, blogging. A lot has happened here in the Bond House. After a familial July full of dinner and drinking, we lost roommates to school, business trips, thesis, Venezuela. This month there are but a paltry four Bondies (though undoubtedly the cream of the crop) in Boston. I’m not coping well. We don’t know what to do with all of the tomatoes.
I tell my friend I think about suicide / every night, the thought a pillow mint
This week has been one of those "When it rains, it pours" sort of situations. After a submission frenzy earlier this month, two of my poems were selected for publication later this year. One was "The Wonton Taco Effect", a piece that I have been trying to have placed for nearly 2 years. The other was "Ceylon, Ceylon", something that I wrote at the kitchen counter last month while a roommate made French toast. I might be a poet after all. bam
Exciting news, everyone. My poem “Rule of Nines” has recently been published by the gracious team at The Indianapolis Review. Please, check it and the other great work out! bam